His Other Wife Page 17

Aliyah was immediately reminded of the brief disagreement she’d had with Larry about the Mark Twain quote. The sky’s not going to fall if you hang a Mark Twain quote on your wall. “I know what you mean,” Aliyah said honestly. “You know that ‘Never argue with a stupid person’ quote?” she said, glancing at Jacob.

  He grunted and shook his head knowingly. “Yes, and I hate it. I think it’s sad that we rarely find inspiration except through focusing on negativity and insulting other people. There has to be a better way.”

  A thought came to Aliyah suddenly as she looked at the framed quote. “Did Deanna give this to you?”

  “No, I bought it myself,” Jacob said. “But she suggested I hang it in my office.”

  At home, Aliyah tossed the cracked frame in the trash. After the brief talk with Jacob, she kept hearing Deanna’s voice in her head, so there was no way to interpret the words positively.

  Stop complaining. Be the change. Stop bickering. Be the bigger person. Stop criticizing. Be the better person. Stop settling for less than the best. Be YOU.

  Like Jacob had said, there had to be a better way.

  ***

  Juwayriah bint Abdullah: Married ladies! Hold on to your husbands. I ain’t one to call a sister out, so… #NuffSaid #YouHaveBeenWarned

  Deeja Marriage Guru and 23 others like this. 57 comments.

  “I guess this is about you?” Reem said as she turned her laptop toward Aliyah after they finished Qur’an class Thursday evening. Reem had started coming to Aliyah’s apartment more frequently instead of doing the class on the phone, and Aliyah was grateful for that. It was much easier to study the Arabic rules in person.

  Aliyah creased her forehead as she read the status. “I don’t think so,” she said doubtfully.

  “Look at the tag,” Reem said, her finger pointing to a comment by someone Aliyah had seen only in passing at the masjid.

  Reem Muhammad, you need to stop using Qur’an to support home wreckers! (17 likes)

  Aliyah shook her head, still confused. “I don’t understand. What does this have to do with me?”

  Reem looked like she was about to say something but withheld. “Maybe nothing,” she said finally.

  “But why did the sister tag you?”

  “Because I do tafseer classes about marriage, and some sisters feel I’m advocating polygamy.”

  “Really?” Aliyah had heard of Reem’s classes that expounded on the meanings and lessons in the Qur’an, but she had never attended. “Why?”

  “During my last class, I discussed Surah Al-Nisaa, ayah four.”

  “Is that the verse that says, ‘One wife is best of you, if you only knew’?”

  Reem smiled knowingly as she shook her head. “No, but it’s the ayah that’s mistranslated to mean that.”

  Aliyah furrowed her brows. “Mistranslated? So it’s not in the Arabic?”

  “It’s too much to go into right now,” Reem said as she closed her laptop. “But there are a lot of misconceptions about that ayah, and that’s just one of them. But I don’t advocate polygamy. From an Islamic perspective, the only thing any Muslim can advocate is marriage. How a man and woman live out their marriage is none of my business. So in my class, I just explain the meanings of Allah’s words and leave my personal perspective out of it.”

  “Then what are the sisters so upset about?”

  “Allahu’alam,” Reem said, acknowledging that God knows best, “but it seems they’re upset because I won’t condemn polygamy, or at least say that Allah favors monogamy.” She sighed. “During my last class, some sisters asked about the mention of orphans at the beginning of the ayah and how in another ayah Allah says men will never be able to do justice between their wives.”

  “I always wondered about that,” Aliyah said. “It seems like men focus on marrying multiple wives and ignore the part about orphans and treating their wives fairly.”

  “That might be true,” Reem said. “But that has nothing to do with what the Qur’an actually says. Based on the tafseer, if men were to focus on orphans, it’ll only mean they’ll marry orphan women. It doesn’t mean they won’t be involved in polygamy. The two have nothing to do with each other.”

  “But doesn’t the Qur’an say that men will never be able to be just with their wives?”

  “Yes, but if you look at the Qur’an and Sunnah as a whole, you’ll find that the emphasis is always on striving, not on perfection,” Reem said. “All I was saying in class is that we have to be careful not to use the Qur’an for our own purposes. If you don’t want to be in polygamy, just say that. That’s a right Allah gives you. But don’t say that our Creator says it’s wrong or not preferable.” Reem contorted her face and shook her head. “Who are we to make that claim?”

  “But if men can’t ever be completely just in polygamy,” Aliyah said, “isn’t it a fair conclusion that one wife is best?”

  Reem put her laptop in its bag and stood. “Let me ask you something,” she said as she adjusted the laptop bag strap on her shoulder and met Aliyah’s gaze. “Can you name one thing that you can guarantee you’ll be completely just with in front of Allah?”

  Aliyah’s lips formed a thin line as she considered the question. “Guarantee?” she said doubtfully.

  “Yes, guarantee.”

  Aliyah was silent momentarily then shook her head. “No, I can’t, honestly.”

  “Now think of all the blessings you have,” Reem said, “and think of all the things you’re still praying for. And since you can never guarantee you’ll be completely just with any of it, why do you accept the blessings you have, much less pray for more?”

  Aliyah chuckled self-consciously. “I never thought about it like that.”

  “I just find it interesting that it’s only polygamy that brings out our desire for human perfection,” Reem said. “But why not advocate for childless marriages since you’ll never be the perfect parent? Why not advocate for the lowest possible salary since you might overspend? Why not live in a small, furniture-less house and never buy brand names since they’re beyond your needs? We know we’re going to be asked about all of this on the Day of Judgment, but it doesn’t make us run the other way.”

  Aliyah nodded thoughtfully but didn’t respond.

  “All I’m saying is,” Reem said, “be honest with yourself. If men need to leave polygamy alone because they can’t be completely just, then we need to leave alone having children and nice things since we can’t be completely just either.”

  “But don’t you think mistreating another human being is worse than something that can harm only you?”

  “And don’t you think helping another human being is better than something that can benefit only you?” Reem countered.

  Aliyah coughed laughter. “I don’t think the men of today care about helping women.”

  Reem frowned. “Anyway, Allah didn’t say men will mistreat their wives,” she said. “He said they won’t be able to be fully just no matter how hard they try. And when you study the tafseer, this is mainly talking about what’s in a man’s heart, not his outward actions. The Prophet, sallallaahu’alayhi wa sallam, never mistreated his wives, but he loved Ayesha most.”

  Aliyah nodded thoughtfully. “But can we really compare men of today to the Prophet, peace be upon him?”

  Reem walked over to the foyer and slipped on her shoes. “Honestly,” she said, exhaustion in her tone, “I hate when people say that. When we think Islam favors monogamy over polygamy, we tell people to follow the Sunnah. But when we realize we’re wrong, we say it’s impossible to follow the Sunnah.”

  A smile tugged at a corner of Aliyah’s mouth. “That’s so true. Astaghfirullah.”

  “But I’m a woman,” Reem said, “so I understand where the sisters are coming from. I wouldn’t want my husband to marry another wife.” She shrugged. “I even have a no-polygamy clause in my marriage contract.”

  Aliyah’s eyes widened. “Really? I would’ve never guessed.”

  “I don’t broadcast
it,” Reem said. “To be honest, I don’t think it’s anybody’s business. But sometimes I’m tempted to mention it to make them understand that this isn’t about what I personally advocate.”

  “Maybe you should tell them,” Aliyah said. “I think it would be a good lesson.”

  Reem shook her head. “I want the focus of my class to be on the Qur’an, not me,” she said. “Anyway, I’ll probably just be called a hypocrite if they find out, and what good will that do? If we can’t take our greatest lessons from the life of the Prophet and his companions, then our problems will never be solved no matter how much I share about myself.”

  Aliyah watched as Reem opened her purse and pulled out the folded black cloth she had placed there earlier. Reem shook the cloth to unfold it then tied the sides behind her head so that only her eyes were visible through a wide slit.

  “Can I ask you a question?” Aliyah said.

  “Tafaddalee,” Reem said, agreeing.

  “Why do you cover your face?”

  “Because I believe Allah commands us to in the Qur’an.”

  Aliyah drew her eyebrows together. “So you think the Qur’an forbids women from uncovering their faces?”

  “Everything that’s haraam isn’t explicitly mentioned in the Qur’an,” Reem said. “But based on the Qur’an and Sunnah evidences together, yes I do. Unless women have an Islamic excuse to uncover.”

  Aliyah found that difficult to believe, but she didn’t say anything. Instead she unlocked the door and opened it.

  “Can I ask you something?” Reem said, humor in her tone. “What do you do to stay fit? You look good, mashaAllah, barakAllaahufeek. I need some tips.”

  Aliyah laughed self-consciously as she glanced down at herself. “MashaAllah,” she said humbly. “I use workout DVDs.”

  “Can I join you some time, seriously? I’m really out of shape.”

  “If you want,” Aliyah said noncommittally. “But I use music, so I’m not sure you’ll feel comfortable.”

  “I don’t mind the music,” Reem said. “As long as it’s not for passive listening, I don’t think it’s haraam.”

  Aliyah’s eyebrows rose, curiosity piqued, but she didn’t ask Reem to clarify. “Okay, just give me a call whenever you’re free.”

  “Okay insha’Allah.”

  ***

  Aliyah woke early Monday morning with a heavy feeling in her chest. Her bedroom was dark except for the dim glow of a streetlight outside the window. “People don’t give you room to be human,” Jacob had said in the dream. Aliyah had sat opposite him, as if interviewing him on a television set, but they were sitting alone in her living room. As he spoke, there was a smile on his face, but Aliyah’s heart ached for the pain she felt. It was as if his heart were in her chest, and she kept getting choked up with each word he spoke. “That’s one reason I never asked for help. But I don’t blame my friends and family. They had no idea what I was going through. But if I’m honest, I didn’t fully know myself. The problem with being a mentor to youth is that you’re always expected to have it all together, so your whole life ends up becoming one big inspirational pep-talk session. And then you wake up and find that you’re both mentor and troubled soul to your own life. But that’s a really lonely existence.”

  Aliyah lay awake in the darkness as sadness and concern gripped her, and a lump developed in her throat. It made no sense that she was on the verge of tears or that she felt a sudden urgency to know if Jacob was all right. But the feeling was so intense that she contemplated texting Larry to ask him to check on his brother, but Aliyah stopped herself. She and Larry weren’t exactly on speaking terms though neither of them had called off the relationship officially.

  Maybe Aliyah could text Jacob herself. But what would she say? Though she had Jacob’s mobile saved in her phone in case she ever needed to call him or Dr. Warren if she couldn’t come in to work, she had never actually dialed his number, and he had never dialed hers. So it made no sense for her to text him now, at almost four o’clock in the morning. Besides, they were both due at work in a few hours, so she could check on him at the college.

  But what would Aliyah do until then?

  What is wrong with you? Aliyah scolded herself. But no matter how illogical this all was in her head, Aliyah couldn’t quiet the urge to know if Jacob was okay.

  Facebook. The idea came to Aliyah suddenly. She could check Jacob’s Facebook page to see if he had posted any recent statuses or updates. It wasn’t perfect, but it might ease her heart until she had to leave for work.

  Aliyah tossed her comforter to the side and reached for her phone on the nightstand. She waited impatiently for the Wi-Fi to connect then tapped the blue Facebook icon.

  Deeja Marriage Guru: Polygamy is just wrong. Unless you’re a prophet, then there’s NO EXCUSE for it. Brothers, take care of YOUR CURRENT WIFE. Sisters, GET YOUR OWN MAN. If you can’t find a man, then you’re just #SOL #ImDoneWithMyRant #ThenAgainMaybeNot #TiredofStupidity

  Juwayriah bint Abdullah and 235 others like this. 95 comments.

  Aliyah was about to type in Jacob’s name in the Facebook search when she saw Deanna’s status at the top of her newsfeed. For some reason, reading the status made her feel even more panicky and concerned. Hands trembling, Aliyah scrolled down and saw three other statuses posted by Deanna in the last twenty-four hours.

  You can give some people the clothes off your back, and they’ll still backstab you. Know who your real friends are. #BetrayalisReal (38 likes. 10 comments.)

  I’m going to kill that b&*ch! For real! #WatchMe (7 likes. 3 comments.)

  They’re messing with the wrong person. #DeejaIsPissed (9 likes. 11 comments.)

  Heart pounding, Aliyah typed in Jacob’s name until his Facebook ID came up. She quickly tapped his name until his page appeared on the screen.

  Reflecting on the blessings of Allah. Trying to stay positive. Life is a test. #selfreflect #selfcorrect

  Aliyah’s heart constricted in concern. His last status was posted four days ago.

  Aliyah nibbled on her lower lip as she disconnected the Wi-Fi and put her phone back on the nightstand. Something was wrong, and she had the gnawing feeling that this was all connected to her somehow.

  Had Larry or Jacob told Deanna about Jacob’s phone call to Aliyah’s uncle months ago? The mere possibility incited throbbing at Aliyah’s temples, and her legs grew weak. She wondered if she should call Deanna and explain everything. She didn’t want Deanna to think she was going behind her back and discussing marriage with Jacob.

  “I guess this is about you?” Reem had said when she showed Aliyah Juwayriah’s Facebook status a few days ago. Married ladies! Hold on to your husbands. I ain’t one to call a sister out, so… #NuffSaid #YouHaveBeenWarned

  Aliyah went to the bathroom and performed wudhoo’ to calm her racing thoughts and steady her breathing. As she rubbed the water of ablution on her hands, face, and arms, Aliyah felt as if her head was about to explode, and she had trouble fighting the tears.

  Here we go again, she heard the voice of her sister Cassie in her head. Drama. Queen.

  Aliyah didn’t usually pray Qiyaam al-Layl, the night prayer before dawn, but she needed the spiritual connection and direction right then. Our Lord, highly glorified is He, the Prophet had taught, descends every night to the lowest heaven, when only one third of the night remains. He says, “Who will call on Me, so that I will answer him? Who will ask of Me, so that I will give him? Who will seek My forgiveness so that I will forgive him?”

  Standing alone in her room dressed in the one-piece floral prayer garment Reem had given her as a gift, Aliyah cried to Allah and asked Him to protect her and keep her safe from harm in this world and in the Hereafter, and she asked Allah to protect Jacob and to ease his troubles and give him love, tranquility, and happiness in his marriage.

  ***

  The college campus was quiet when Aliyah arrived an hour early. She had been unable to go back to sleep after she prayed Fajr, so she decided
to come in to work. There were only a few cars scattered throughout the faculty and staff parking lot, but the sun shining above the horizon gave the morning a sense of calm that was a welcome contrast to what Aliyah had felt when she had woken up hours ago. Aliyah no longer felt an overwhelming concern for Jacob’s well being, and she was left wondering if the dream was from Shaytaan or her subconscious. Praying Qiyaam al-Layl had helped tremendously in calming her nerves and quelling her fears, but there remained a lingering feeling that something was wrong.

  It wasn’t until she was reciting the morning adhkaar as she dressed for work that she’d realized that what Jacob was saying in the dream mirrored almost verbatim an interview with a famous youth mentor she had seen on television months ago. That was when Aliyah realized that most likely her paranoia was getting the best of her. Though she and Deanna were no longer friends, Aliyah often experienced anxiety as she wondered what type of revenge Deanna might take for Aliyah injuring her pride by ending the friendship. It was a relief to know that her concerns were most likely unwarranted. Aliyah just worried too much.

  “Good morning, Professor Thomas,” a kind voice said as Aliyah stepped off the elevator and swiped her badge to sign-in.

  Aliyah turned and saw Dr. Warren carrying an insulated paper cup filled with coffee as she passed. “Good morning, Dr. Warren,” Aliyah said, smiling and lifting a hand in greeting.

  Dr. Warren entered her office and closed the door, and the hall grew quiet as Aliyah walked toward her office. Aliyah opened her purse and rummaged for her keys as she neared her door. Her keys jingled as she pulled their ring from her handbag. But she halted her steps as she saw that her office door was already ajar. Had Aliyah left the door unlocked the whole weekend?